Hogwarts War I
by inkyreads
Summary: This is completely random! Draco and Harry team-up, while they are on a sugar-rush, to defeat the "evil" people of Hogwarts!  OOC, crack-ish...and HUMOR!


**Hello! New one-shot, I decided to upload this onto the site...I already had it typed out. Enjoy! R&R!**

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><p>At Hogwarts, it was the first time they were going to have a day dedicated to eating dessert and sweets. Dumbledore called it "Dessert and Sweets Day".<p>

Everyone was in the Great Hall chattering anxiously with each other. Harry, Hermione, Ronald, and Ginny were all sitting together at the end of the Gryffindor table. (The table nearest to the entrance).

"What are you going to eat, Hermione?" asked Harry.

"I honestly don't know, Harry." answered a slightly irritated Hermione. Harry just would not stop talking!

"What about you Ron?" asked the Potter looking at his best friend.

"I dunno mate, maybe some sweets and pie." excitement was obvious in Ronald's voice.

"Ginny?" Harry turned toward her.

"I wouldn't mind a few slices of apple pie," she said hungrily.

"What are you going to eat, Harry?" asked Ginny.

"I'm going to treacle tart." he answered simply.

"That's it?" she asked surprised. He had asked so many questions, one would expect Harry to have more to eat.

"Nope!" he said popping the "p".

"Well?" Ginny asked expectantly.

-Silence-

"Harry." Ron waved his hand in front of his friend's face.

-Silence-

"Harry...Harry...Harry." This time Hermione tried to get his attention.

-Silence-Twitch-Drool-

"Harry!" yelled Ginny finally losing her patience. Startled, Harry jumped.

"WATCH OUT!" yelled Harry as he wildly waved his arms around. Everyone was thinking along the same lines, "What is he talking about?"

"Harry...are you...okay?" Hermione asked cautiously.

"Yes."

"Um...what are you going to eat?" asked Ginny also cautious.

"Ice cream, cookies, and gummy bears." Harry answered with a wide, innocent smile on his face. Professor Dumbledore gave a short speech about how wonderful it was to have a day like this-blah, blah, blah!

Harry zoned out and started to think about dancing and singing cookies. Then, at one point he started to think about trains.

"...beep, bop, bloop!" Dumbledore ended his speech, sitting down while everyone else just clapped, except Harry. He remained zoned out.

"Poke, poke, poke. Poke, poke. Poke. Ninja poke. Poke, poke. Poke. BLOODY POKING HELL!" The only reaction Ron got from Harry was a vague twitch of the eye. Ron's head hit the table with a loud BANG! That is what snapped Harry out of his spaced out moment.

"IT WASN'T ME!" he yelled raising his arms in an "I surrender" way. Ginny and Hermione just raised their eyebrows at him. Ron lifted his head, just enough to see the other male.

"What wasn't you?" asked Hermione.

"Hey, look! Food!" Harry selected what he wanted to eat and dumped it on his plate, which was _**a lot**_.

Oddly enough though, he selected exactly twenty-two gummy bears(counted out and everything).

"Blood hell mate! Are you going to eat _**all**_ of that food?" asked Ronald incredulously. Even Ronald could eat as much as Harry had put on his plate (AN-Imagine the giant spiders in the 2nd HP movie, that is how much food Harry has).

"...yes." Harry answered slowly before turning to his food.

~Ten Very, Very Messy Minutes Later~

Harry James Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One, the son of Lily and James Potter was on a sugar rush. Yes, you read this correctly, a sugar rush. At the moment Hermione was trying to get Harry to calm down, but failed. Miserably. Yet, he was not the only one on a sugar rush. Draco Malfoy, Slytherin, enemy of Harry Potter, son of two (not one) Death Eaters was on a sugar rush.

Although this was not the most surprising news of all, no. Draco and Harry teamed up against the people who tried to calm them down(Hermione).

"Harry get down from that table this instant!" yelled Hermione. She was forcefully tugging on his robes.

"No! I'm a monkey!" he yelled back at her as though it was relevant to the situation. Draco giggled wildly. He wobbled around on the table toward Harry.

"Harry! Let's go to the other side!" he pulled Harry down from the table and dragged him to the other side of the Great Hall. They sat down at the corner.

"Wingardium Laviosa!" shouted Harry. He pointed his wand at a table and it went into the air. He somehow managed to get it to flip to its side. He set it down in front of Draco and himself. The table was shielding Harry and Draco from anyone on the other side of the table.

Harry turned back to look at the blonde and say that he had gotten supplies that could be used as weapons. In a few minutes the two had created cookie bombs, ice cream-snowballs, a catapult made out of licorice and gum and many other weapons.

"What's the plan?" asked Harry.

"We fight 'til we can't no mo'e!" yelled Malfoy dramatically.

"Yes, sir!" shouted Harry, tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Fire?" Draco had two cookie grenades in his hands.

"Fire." Harry agreed. The Slytherin pulled the pin from the grenade with his teeth and threw it. It blew up in front of Hermione, Ron and Ginny. Harry threw his bombs (after he lit them up) at the Head Table.

-BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMBBBBBB- Pieces of cookies went flying.

"Harry Potter! Stop that right now!" yelled Hermione, her face was now a wonderfully dark shade of red from her anger.

"No! Bombs away!" Harry and Draco started to throw gummy bears and grenades at Hermione.

"Harry, stop!" shouted Ron.

"No! I don't wanna!" screamed Harry. The Boy Who Lived threw a smoke bomb (AN-Don't ask me where he got material for a smoke bomb). Everyone started to cough and cover their faces, when the smoke cleared up Harry and Draco were gone.

Giggles and laughter could be heard echoing off the walls of Hogwarts. Hermione sighed, this was going to be a _**long**_ day.

A Gryffindor and a Slytherin were skipping down the hall drawing inappropriate pictures on the wall with whip cream. Suddenly, Hermione popped out of nowhere right before their eyes!

"Stop right there! Don't move!" Hermione pointed her finger at them.

"No~! It's the evil lady! Run away, run away!" screamed Harry. He grabbed Draco's hand and dragged them down the hall to the library. The boys ran into an isle of book shelves.

"What's the plan?" whispered Draco.

"We must be ninjas. Being ninjas will help defeat the evil bunnies!" stage whispered Harry.

"What bunnies?" asked Draco confused.

"The people trying to capture us are evil bunnies in disguise!"

Draco's face darkened and he said, "I _**hate**_ bunnies."

"Me too, me too."

They went ninja style and sneakily (bumping into walls and book shelves) escaped the library.

Harry and Draco were in what appeared to be a conference room. In the middle was a big map with figurines and markers scattered all over it.

"So, that's the plan!" exclaimed Harry.

"Okay, I got it." Draco notified Harry.

"Now, do you want milk and sugar with your tea?" asked Harry suddenly turning sophisticated. An awkward filled the room.

"Yeah…do you want sweets and cookies?" Draco got up.

"Sure."

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter were running in the halls of Hogwarts. Hermione and Ron, Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape chasing after them (AN-It's funny to imagine Snape and McG running!).

"Stop you fools! Ten points from Gryffindor." snapped Snape. Professor McGonagall stopped and turned to look at Snape with a death glare.

"Severus Snape! Twenty points from Slytherin!" growled his colleague. Snape sneered.

"Thirty points from Gryffindor."

"Thirty-five points from Slytherin." Professor McGonagall smirked at Snape.

Ron and Hermione had stopped to ogle at them, but soon remembered their objective and ran on.

"Stop! Harry stop!" yelled Hermione. Instead of Harry stopping, Hermione stopped. She was breathing hard and was on her knees as she tried to catch her breathe.

"C'mon Hermione! We have to get them before they-"

!

"-destroy anything." he finished.

"Okay, let's go."

!

They ran toward the explosions and cookies crumbs. When they took a turn to the left Hermione and Ron found chunks of cookies and gummy bears.(AN-They died!-Sob-) Stuck on the wall was Draco and Harry...sleeping.

"THEY'RE SLEEPING!" Hermione finally exploded with her anger.

"Shh! Don't wake them up." whispered Ronald desperately. Behind them Professors Snape and McGonagall arrived at the scene.

"Weasley! Granger! What happened?" Snape questioned them.

"Shh! They're sleeping!" Ron tried to shush them. McGonagall conjured sign and put them around Harry and Draco. She also put them around the corners. The signs read, "Beware! Sleeping crazies!"

"I didn't know these signs were made!" said an astonished Ron.

"No! Bananas! Don't kill me!" screamed Harry from the wall. Ron ran over to the wall and comforted Harry easily as if he had done it before.

"Don't worry, Harry. The bananas won't get you! You're to awesome." Ron told him. Harry calmed down immediately, drool slipping from his mouth.

"Let's go." Hermione dragged Ron away from Harry and down the hall.

~5 Minutes Later~

"THEY'RE COMING FOR ME! RUN AWAY FROM THE EVIL BANANAS!"

Hermione sighed. She would never, have any alone time with Ronald while Harry was having nightmares!

"I should go check on him." Ron acted like such a mother hen when Harry was having nightmares.

"Ron, he'll be fine." Hermione pulled him back onto the couch.

"NOOO! NOT THE COOKIES! TAKE ME INSTEAD!"

Ron shot out of the room toward the screaming. Hermione sighed, yet again. Another curling scream was heard.

"NO DON'T EAT ME! BACK AWAY, YOU EVIL BANANAS!"

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><p><strong>This was SO~ random! Hehe...I kinda enjoyed writing this...it's been typed out for awhile now.<strong>

**Thanks for reading! Have a good day! :D**


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